It’s the second day in a row that Starbuck’s modem has been down. So I’ve been unable to sit there and surf the net in the morning. I headed over to my house yesterday and will probably do the same today. Just need to wait a little bit just to make sure that my wife is gone to work.
Didn’t do much of anything yesterday. Ended up having lunch with Dave. Then we went and got a coffee afterwards. Was good to sit and talk for awhile. I told him that I had found a new ’non 12 step’ group the other day and was going to go to a meeting.
It’s a recovery program called SMART Recovery. SMART stands for Self Management and Recovery Training. Individuals do not have sponsers. Individuals do not claim that they are powerless over their lives. Instead, people are trying to empower themselves. I found their website online the other day. After looking at different information there, I decided I would give a few meetings a try. So last night I headed off to one.
It was in a small room of a church. Chairs were formed in a open circle. There were two women that were facilitating the meeting. Apparently they are Graduate students in Psychology at a local college. There were 10 people including the facilitators. The meeting started with the facilitators asking what SMART stood for. They then asked what the main four points of the SMART Program are. They are:
Motivation to Abstain - Enhancing and maintaining motivation to abstain from addictive behavior
Coping with Urges - Learning how to cope with urges and cravings
Problem Solving - Using rational ways to manage thoughts, feelings and behaviors
Lifestyle Balance – Balancing short-term and long-term pleasures and satisfactions in life
One of the facilitators then lead us in a five minute meditation exercise to center ourselves. She calmly talked us through relaxing our body for the five minutes. It was a wonderful five minutes and I immediately thought I needed to include this exercise in my life on a daily basis. Change is made in small steps. This would be a great small step to make.
We then went around the room talking about what successes we had during the past week. People were free to cross talk during this portion. So there were congrats to people on their successes as well as an occasional question. As people introduced themselves and told their story, I tried to use this as an opportunity to start remembering names while I was listening to their share. Let’s go down the list of names, Jody, Julie, Doug, Tim, Susan, Siri, Shirley (fake name for Steve), Mike, Stephanie, Nick, myself and someone that did not want to talk. When it was my turn I just introduced myself and said this was my first meeting and I was exploring different places my recovery program could go.
After this initial round of introductions and brief success stories, one woman was asked by one of the facilitators if we could delve deeper into the issues she was having with work. The lady agreed and briefly explained her work situation. It then turned into some sort of a group therapy/venting session. It was if a room full of amateur therapists were let go. At the time it took me by surprise, but I realized that the conversation was being dominated by two or three strong personalities n the room. Late in the session, one of the facilitators realized the woman was sitting in a very defensive position and asked her how she was feeling. The woman responded that she was okay and appreciated the suggestions but it appeared to me that she was still hurting over her work situation and did not have any ideas how to solve it.
After the meeting I headed home with my mind spinning. I could see some good things from the meeting. And I could see how strong personalities can overtake a meeting, leaving others in the dust and unable to participate. I didn’t participate in any of the discussion during the last half of the meeting but could see myself in these people. It became very clear to me that I have to tone down my presence in group meetings. I also clearly saw how going to one or two of these meetings a week would be beneficial to me. Seeing myself being reflected in others is very enlightening. I would also be able to start working on participating in a group dynamic in a positive way.
I have to be honest and say that I also walked away being a little judgmental of some of the individuals. But I quickly reigned in that thinking, realizing that everyone in that room is on a journey for themselves. We are in different places, traveling at different speeds, working on different things.
So I am a little excited about going to more of these meetings. I’m not sure where they will fit into my schedule. But I will make some fit. I can see a great opportunity for some personal growth for myself at these meetings.
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