...clubhouse at the apartment complex. Have had a productive day so far, as I've sent off my resume to a few different places. Only sent it to places looking for temporary help. Will do some more tomorrow too. I'm hoping I have better luck looking for part time work instead of full time work. Going to school on Mondays and doing some work will be good. I'm very excited by the whole prospect.
I've got transcripts from UO and Chico State. Still waiting for the one from Butte College. I'm a little perplexed, puzzled or mystified by my choice to pick business as my major. I really did not do well in those upper division classes. Mainly C's with a few Bs sprinkled in. No A's. Even a F or two. It's kinda amazing that I think I'm some sort of Business Person with a lot of knowledge and yet I'm just an average student with no big business successes to point to. Just some grandiose thinking by me. Thinking that if I got a Bachelor's degree in Business, that would make me some sort of business genius. My life's job history proves completely differently.
But now I've got a chance to change that and start on a new path. I want to help people. I want to help make people feel better about themselves. So it's back to school and get some other classes done. This will open the door to other opportunities and a new future.
As far as where I am in my marriage and how it will turn out, I'm still not sure. I do know though, that it will be quite different from before. This time alone is making feel good about myself. I feel also, that Martha is going to feel better about herself, having gone through this separation too. It just feels good to have some space and time to myself and not have to worry about someone else, what they're thinking or doing, or what they want me to think or do or eat.
I just get a sense that my marriage is over. The way that Martha wanted there to be a 30 day no contact time between us. Her telling me to get ALL of my stuff out of the house. Even leaving the bath mat for me to take after she washed it. Really? Here's the bath mat, get it out of the house. Atleast that is what it feels like to me.
So I'm trying to put my life back together in a way that I like. In a way that I can be who I want to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment