August 19th

It’s 8:15pm on Friday night. Had a good therapy session today with my Shaman Therapist. I love that he has some sort of hypnotic power in which he puts me into a zone that is full of love and acceptance. It feels so good. I have to learn how to do that to myself and to others. My mind and body becomes so open to when he does that. As soon as he engages my intellect again, I find myself being pulled out of the state of bliss.

We talked about how I have to be open to whatever anyone shares if I wish to be good as a Therapist. I also have to come from a place of love. Love in my heart. Love for others. Love for the universe. As he talks about these things I just find myself calming down and being a much more loving, caring person. Is this how he hypnotizes me? I don’t know. But things start to become out of focus except for what I am directly looking at. It’s as if all the unnecessary static energy in my life is gone. It’s just him and me.

We also talked, or should I say he talked and just wanted me to listen or answer to myself, about what makes me tick? What do I think about when it’s just me alone with my thoughts? What do I feel? Do I feel more than one thing or emotion? Can I just sit silently with it and not move? Do I feel good just feeling it, whatever it is? He continued on with what am I working on? What do I need to do? What do I need to feel? What was it that Aja has that made me open up to her? What does anyone have that makes open up to them? He said I needed to start thinking about those questions as I will be asked them during my time at PCC in the Alcohol and Drug Program.

All in all it was a good session. Got my mind thinking. Also got my body feeling. Finding out that everything has energy and emits it. So he grabbed two different rocks in his office and gave them to me. He told me they were from the same country. He wanted me to guess the country. He also told me to forget whatever I might know about geology so I wouldn’t let my mind get in the way of my feelings. One rock was a small, very smooth turquoise stone. It had obviously been handled by many people to become so smooth. It felt very warm and loving. The second rock was a crystal pulled from the earth. Still jagged and very rough. It was full of life and energy to me.

I was thinking of Mexico or South America, though I was trying to put together in my mind what areas of the world would have both stones. I couldn’t get my mind away from south of the US border. I did feel the middle east and discarded those feelings because I couldn’t really see any rocks in my mind over there. All I could see was sand. I couldn’t see or feel underneath the sand. He told me Mexico and South America was wrong. Asked me for another guess. So I said Australia. He told me they were from Egypt. The turquoise rock was a dung rock. It apparently gets rolled around a lot as Egyptian mythology believes it gets rolled from east to west everyday as the sun travels. The second rock was chipped out of a hillside about 20 miles away from where the first stone was bought at a street market or faire.

I’m moving on my path. I’m finding myself.