....cleaning up my apartment. Still have books and other stuff all over the living room floor. It needs to go. Thrown away, boxed up, put on shelves. Whatever. But the room needs to be cleaned. I'm feeling some anxiety over this not getting down. I'm procrastinating, feeling as if it will magically take care of itself and I won't have to take responsibility.
I'm down at the apartment complex's Club House. There's a few people in one area of the clubhouse having a conversation. One of the guys will talk to anyone and I've seen him down here quite a few times, sitting out there talking to different people. Or watching the television. It's a little distracting to me. And for some reason, I wish he would just quiet down a little. I've got to be more accepting of others and their behaviors.
I'm also feeling a little stressed having spent a little time looking online this morning about potential job opportunities for an Alcohol & Drug Counselor in Oregon. I'm having a difficult time finding something that will seemingly work with the Certification that I will get. Many, if not most of the jobs, are looking for a Master's degree in Psychology. So where does that leave me? I don't know, other than feeling a little lost.
Yesterday I ended up going to an Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting at the Alano Club. There was about 15 people there. Mostly people my age. Was an okay meeting. Was a little discouraged when the leader of the meeting pretty much talked for the first 30 minutes solid before the meeting was open to sharing. I wasn't the only newcomer to the meeting as there were two others. I felt pretty much as though I did belong in this group of people. Seemed to be lost, troubled souls, much like myself.
Where is my journey going? Where does it end? Does it ever end? Do I have the strength to carry on in this journey?
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