Had a therapy session today with my therapist that was probably the most heated we’ve had so far. We talked about how the separation was going. How did it make me feel. She thought I was hiding my feelings about the separation. We talked about me spending time alone in my apartment. We talked out me searching online for prostitutes. I didn’t have the heart to tell my therapist that I actually tracked one down and had sex with her. By the end of the session she was tearing up as she was afraid that I was in crisis and denying it. She told me I had to have a sponser again. She said I was definitely playing with fire by going online and looking at ads for prostitutes.
She brought up the possibility of me going to an outpatient center somewhere for some intensive outpatient care. She believes I need to look more deeply at my developmental years as a child. I can’t argue with her about that. When I asked her about any suggestions of where I should go, she had no suggestions other than for me to go online and look at a sex addiction recovery website. That response irritated me as much as anything we talked about all session.
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