Wow, this year really seems to be moving along pretty quickly. Hell, I think it's over six months that I've been unemployed. That's a crazy thought. I've got to find the inner motivation to get my work life started again. I was talking with Henry from SAA yesterday. He's a real estate investor and he's trying to get me to get back into real estate and work with him. I'm scared on one level because of how much acting out I did while I was an agent down in California. There's a lot of free time so I've got to find a way to structure my time in a positive way if I'm going to get back into real estate. I know I can be a very good agent. I know people like the way I work very hard for them. Martha is very concerned about all of this and I've got to find a way to get her to believe in me and what I want to do. My co-dependant personality needs her buy-in.
Henry thinks we could work together and hold each other accountable. Both for work issues and for our recoveries. I like that idea. I agree that working with another addict can help keep my feet to the ground quite a bit firmer than working with others that have no idea about this part of me. I believe there's another real estate agent in the SAA group, besides Brian that I've previously written about, that I will track down. I'd like to see what he does to keep himself honest to working his program while working in real estate.
I believe that I need to start working on this plan for the next part of my life. The real estate market will turn around. There are investors out there wanting to buy and sell properties. I can help them.
There was another First Step shared yesterday at the noon SAA meeting. He did not seem quite as prepared as some other ones that I've seen. I didn't really hear an emotional voice when he spoke. He occasionally seemed to skip part of what he had written as if it was too personal to share. I can understand that very much. In writing my first step, I'm finding that I can write things but I wonder if I'll be able to read it outloud. But yesterday's first step was not mine. He can always come back and address whatever he wants, if there is anything he needs to address again. There's still First Steps lined up to be shared over the next three weeks, so I have atleast a month before I can share mine. So I'll keep pressing ahead with the writing and delving further into my emotions and sexual past.
Not much lined up for the weekend. Think I'm gonna go to a meeting this morning. Some of the people from my Thursday night group will be there, so I can support them and we can bond a little further. Then I've got to clean up my room. I've got some Duck football to watch. They're playing Washington today. Not expecting it to be much of a game. Would like to get some yard work done, especially planting the tulips, and trimming some bushes. It's maintenance work. Dont' really like it but it needs to be done. Want to do some more writing on my first step as well as get out and bowl a few games just for fun.
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