Wow, what a day yesterday. Martha and I got up Sunday morning and went to The Unity of Beaverton Church for services. It felt good. Not the best service I've ever been to yet felt very comfortable and welcoming. The church was/is celebrating it's 50th year of existence so we got a little history about this church and location. They were also celebrating their 'Mandela'. This is a circlelar art piece that symbolizes change. It's got a layered pattern of sorts showing change from the outside to the inside. I've seen numerous art pieces like this but never knew what they were called. I love the metaphor they represent.
After church we headed off to Tom's Pancake House for breakfast. Had a great breakfast. Even though the place was packed I felt very good. Very serene and content. I just plain 'ol enjoyed breakfast with Martha. We chatted about the service. She enjoyed it also.
Then did a little shopping and walking around at Washington Square. Again, it was just nice to get out and enjoy the day. Finally got home and did some more work on my first step. I've pretty much finished it up and will read it today to my therapist. I'm excited about this finishing up this step. As I was working on it yesterday, I was filled with peace. No inner turmoil. Just a quiet desire to finish it. I think my Higher Power was giving me strength to work on it so that I can and will move on to my second and third steps.
Also, I had a dream Saturday night/Sunday morning. I was in the locker room/shower room of the San Francisco Giants. I was some part of the team. We had just won a championship and were going to have a parade that I got to participate in. I was talking to some of the players about what to wear. None of us were sure. So we decided we would wait until Manager Dusty Baker showed up and then I would go ask for his advice. In the meantime, Todd Moore showed. He worked at the hotel attached to the stadium. He had been banned from the locker room but somehow made it in. I was talking to him while we were standing at the urinals. All of a sudden, a big guy from security showed up and grabbed him from behind. He knocked him down and dragged him out of the locker room, beating Todd up along the way. I didn't respond to defend Todd and just stood there watching this beating play out. I wasn't offended by it and didn't participate in it. I then woke up.
In thinking about this dream on Sunday, I think Todd was representing my past actions of acting out. Security was representing me taking control of my life again and kicking my addiction out of it. As for not knowing what to wear, I believe that corresponded to a conversation Martha and I had earlier on Saturday about what to wear to church. The celebration parade was representing me celebrating winding up my first step and moving on to steps two and three.
All in all, Sunday was just a great day. Very peaceful, tranquil and satisfying. I think, no, I know I'm ready to surrender to my Higher Power. I've screwed things up for too long and now it is time to let go and let God!
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