....as well as a Sexual Addict? The other day my wife asked me what other addiction I had since 80% of sex addicts had another addiction. I told her I didn't have one. After doing some work on my first step last night, I'm wondering if I might be an alcoholic. Maybe a "Dry Alcoholic", but still an alcoholic.
This came up in briefly looking at some past relationships. One of them was in my early 20's. It started at a Christmas work party with a superior. There was plenty of drinking and I went home with her that night. We didn't have sex that night but we did the next night. And it grew from there. Most of the time we seemed to be drinking down at a bar and then coming back and having sex. She was up for anything. She enjoyed candles and having hot wax dripped on her and dripping it on me. She loved to give me oral sex and have me use a banana or cucumber as a dildo on her. We used all sorts of food items in our sexual play. But everything started with drinking.
She was drinking to get rid of the emotional issues of divorce and losing custody of her child in that divorce. I never, or maybe just briefly, thought that I contributed anything to her losing custody as her son wanted to live with his dad as long as I knew. All I cared about was sex. So we drank and had sex.
One time we had worked through the night doing a remodel of a store. We then drove over to Santa Cruz for lunch, from San Jose. We had some drinks with lunch. After a little time at the beach, we drove back to San Jose. Only I do not remember the drive at all. I completely blacked out. I've never associated it with drinking. I just thought I was tired. Looking back honestly at it, if I was tired, I would have fallen asleep.
A second time, after having broken up with this girlfriend, and feeling down, I went out partying with some people from work. I was living in Southern California at this time. I got drunk at a bar with friends. Went to the bathroom and could not get back into the bar because the bouncers thought I was drunk. But I was allowed to drive home. So off I drove. Again, I blacked out while driving. Only this time, I didn't make it home and was stopped the Highway Patrol. I got arrested for a DUI and was released the next morning. I ended up talking to my Dad about it shortly thereafter and one of the first things he said, was that I was an alcoholic. I disagreed and just said I was young, stupid and just driving drunk. Everyone has done it. We dropped it there. Again, I never really associated the blackout with alcohol.
I've never blacked out before or after those two incidents. So I have no sober incidents I can defend myself with. My intellect is looking for a defense for these blackout episodes but I've never heard of anyone having them except when drinking.
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