...of Aja's questions.
Do I have acceptance of a physical part of my body? If yes, how does it show up? If not, why not?
I accept my legs and my butt. They’ve always treated me pretty well. Allowing me to get around, being mobile. I love to exercise, though by the look of me today someone would wonder about that. My legs and butt are filled with muscles that are strong and resilient. When they have pain from exercise, that pain feels good. It feels as though I am growing and doing positive things for myself.
Other physical parts of my body I don’t accept too well. I accept them because they are there and ‘needed’. But I don’t accept them in a positive way. I see them as negatives, such as my stomach. I looked at my stomach today and was repulsed. I could not believe how big it has gotten. I know my stomach has gotten bigger in the past year as my weight has gone up dramatically. My pant size has gone up too. Yet it took the harsh light in a hotel room to see what I’ve become.
Instead of dealing with my addiction and problems during the past year I’m feeling that I’ve just started stuffing feelings by eating. I can’t believe I weigh over 200 pounds. Never in my life did I ever think that would happen. But it has. I can’t deny this weight gain any more. I’m now the big fat guy that really doesn’t care about himself. In the past I would look at that guy and see someone that had issues with eating. The reality is that there are a lot of emotional reasons behind the weight gain. Sure, sometimes there are medical reasons. And certain drugs will accelerate weight gain. But I can only see myself stuffing feelings by eating and eating and eating, when I look at my weight gain.
Do I have acceptance of a physical part of my body? If yes, how does it show up? If not, why not?
I accept my legs and my butt. They’ve always treated me pretty well. Allowing me to get around, being mobile. I love to exercise, though by the look of me today someone would wonder about that. My legs and butt are filled with muscles that are strong and resilient. When they have pain from exercise, that pain feels good. It feels as though I am growing and doing positive things for myself.
Other physical parts of my body I don’t accept too well. I accept them because they are there and ‘needed’. But I don’t accept them in a positive way. I see them as negatives, such as my stomach. I looked at my stomach today and was repulsed. I could not believe how big it has gotten. I know my stomach has gotten bigger in the past year as my weight has gone up dramatically. My pant size has gone up too. Yet it took the harsh light in a hotel room to see what I’ve become.
Instead of dealing with my addiction and problems during the past year I’m feeling that I’ve just started stuffing feelings by eating. I can’t believe I weigh over 200 pounds. Never in my life did I ever think that would happen. But it has. I can’t deny this weight gain any more. I’m now the big fat guy that really doesn’t care about himself. In the past I would look at that guy and see someone that had issues with eating. The reality is that there are a lot of emotional reasons behind the weight gain. Sure, sometimes there are medical reasons. And certain drugs will accelerate weight gain. But I can only see myself stuffing feelings by eating and eating and eating, when I look at my weight gain.
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