I talked with my wife....

....last night. I went to a 12 step meeting last night and finished up the meeting a few minutes after 8. I took a look at my phone and noticed that my wife had called me. She did not leave a message. So I called the house to see what she wanted to talk about. She said she was returning my call. Apparently I had called her when I got out of the car to go to the meeting when I had grabbed my phone, glasses and a bottle of water, all at the same time.

We talked for a few minutes on the phone and I asked if I could come over and we could talk some more. She said she was open to that, so I headed over there. We ended up talking for about a hour and a half. We talked about the disclosure meeting and how ackward it felt. We talked about the disclosure a little. We talked a little about if our relationship was going to move forward or not. We both agreed that we both needed to be totally commited to making the relationship and making it work. She said I needed to find a job. She felt as though she had been the breadwinner and supporting the two of us for quite a while. I agree that I do need to have a job. She said that she couldn't even sleep in our bed because I had prostitutes in it. I said we can get a new one. She said she needed to decide what boundaries she wanted to have. I agree that she needs to figure out what boundaries she needs. While I didn't say this to her, she can change those boundaries as needed.

We talked some more about how we can communicate better and that we need to communicate better. She said that I had to be strongly committed to my recovery. I asked her how I could prove that to her but she had no ideas. I explained that whether I was in a relationship with her or not I had to stay in recovery. I really don't have a choice. I don't want to go back into the sexual addiction world of sexually acting out. There is nothing positive there. I don't know how I can show her that I'm committed to my recovery. I told her I'm not seeking perfection but progress. Sounds very unlike me.

I don't know where we go from here. I ended up coming back to the hotel room I'm staying at, which was fine. I didn't expect to be staying the night and was upset or perturbed that she didn't want me there. She wants some space to herself and I'm sure I need some too.

So I'll close here and go take a shower. Then head off and grab some light to eat and off to a meeting.