After yesterday's down mood...

...I'd like to take a few minutes and list some gratitudes in my life.

I am thankful for Martha in my life. I know that I think about ending our relationship but she is my best friend. Without her and her stability in my life today I really am not sure where I would be. I probably wouldn't be in Portland and would probably be acting out some more, trying to find a new bottom.

I am thankful for a roof over my head. It's good to know that I'm not out on the street trying to find some shelter and warmth. I've got a wonderful house that allows me much peace in my life.

I am thankful for money in the bank. This definitely gives me a sense of stability that I would not be able to have if we did not have money in the bank. This money pays the bills and allows myself and Martha to both go see therapists and work on ourselves.

I am thankful for my 12 step fellowship. This fellowship allows me to share thoughts and feelings with others without judgement from them. It a huge positive step for me to share.

I also am very thankful for my therapist. She has given me the opportunity to open up by somehow connecting with me. She is getting more and more comfortable with pointing out some of my flawed thinking and focusing on issues in my personal life.