...and I woke up feeling like shit. Couple in that my wife had the day off and I couldn't do all the reading I wanted to do in the morning. So my anxiety level was starting to rise. I felt my body completely out of whack. I didn't like. Having told my wife that I had a Self Esteem Workshop to go to, I was able to leave around 10am and get some reading done. I definitely felt a lot better after that. While I didn't have a workshop to go to, I went to an SAA meeting inwhich an individual was sharing his first step. Wow, that was kinda crazy. This guy had been to prison for molesting children and was a registered sex offender. He's been out for a few years and seems like he's definitely gotten his life on the right track. He's working, attending meetings and working on his recovery. But when he told some of his backstory, about his family having numerous child molestors as well as drug addicts and alcoholics, I couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. He wasn't behind the 8 ball growing up, the table was turned upside down.
After his talk, people shared their thoughts, and crazily, four other individuals thanked him for sharing and expressed that they were going to prison shortly. Fuck, I think I have problems.
Got home from the meeting and my wife had just gotten up from taking a nap. Bam, my anxiety level just blew up again. After taking a shower, she came out to see me in the living and I was irritated, stressed and frustrated beyond belief. I just snapped at her and didn't talk to her again for four hours or so. We went to dinner and were civil to each other. After getting back, I grabbed my computer and headed out here to do some journaling. My thoughts have to be expressed. I'm thinking I'm gonna go head out for a short walk. Some fresh air and exercise will serve me well.
No comments:
Post a Comment