Finally....

....made it to a SAA meeting. Actually went to two different ones yesterday. First one was from noon to one. I enjoyed the meeting. Some time was spent talking about the twelve steps. Some people read some things out of a book, passing the book around, sharing the opportunity to read. After the reading, time was spent sharing thoughts and feelings, about the brief reading or whatever was going on in people's life. Felt very good. I couldn't relate to everything that was said, but I could relate to some of it. At the same time, it did feel a little overwhelming.

The evening meeting was good too. Time was spent reading a passage out of a book, reflecting about a higher power. Again, afterwards was spent with individuals sharing their thoughts about a higher power or whatever they needed to express. I found much comfort in this meeting even though I felt very anxious and nervous going to it. It was as if my body was fighting going.

Not having talked to my wife yet about everything going on with me, I have had to lie to her about these meetings. She doesn't even know about the early meeting while I told her the evening meeting was a group therapy session that my therapist wished for me to participate in. When I got home I told her it was atleast a six week "session" and then would go from there. Not sharing these things with her is very difficult. I know that part of me will definitely be glad when I am able to share what is going on in my life. For the time being, it will have to wait.