...is a way of looking at your life and sobriety. Three circles are drawn. One larger around the others. I believe I've written about this before but I've been working on it more so I wanted to update my three circles. The inner circle is an "Abstinence List" that includes activities that are not to be participated in. These items for me include "Not visiting Prostitutes", "Not visiting Massage Parlors", "Not watching Porn Movies", No sex of any kind outside of marriage, "Not reading Porn magazines", "Not visiting ANY online Sex Ads sites or Online Porn sites or Online Dating Sites" and "Not visiting Strip Clubs". Participating in one of these activities would be considered "acting out" and relapsing.
The next circle is considered the "Boundaries List". It includes activities that draw me closer to my abstinence list. Some of the items on this list may seemingly be considered good, but triggers come in all shapes and sizes. Items currently on this list include limiting my extreme thinking and acting (see the gray in things instead of constantly seeing everything as a black and white situation); limit isolated myself from people (get out in public); limit high anxiety; limit violent movies and/or be very conscious of emotional feelings while watching; driving by strip clubs; quit objectifying and sexualizing women in public; be very conscious of allowing myself to fantasize; be conscious of my computer usage and internet usage.
Finally the outer circle represents healthy living. Items in this circle include Having sex with my wife, limiting masterbation, attending SAA meetings, Sharing my life with my family, Expressing my feelings and emotions, participating in individual therapy, start and work a 12 step plan, have spirituality in my life, take ownership of my life, spend atleast an hour a day reading/reflecting/ meditating, develop other interests and hobbies, develop friendships outside of SAA, develop friendships inside of SAA, and exercise daily.
These circles are still a work in process. As I work on my first step with my sponser, I'll be delving further into the different steps. I'm sure some more items will be added along the way as time goes on.
No comments:
Post a Comment