.... morning. Headed down to Starbucks and got a mocha for myself. Not knowing my wife was going to get up, I didn't grab anything for her. She typically likes to sleep in on the weekend. Today really was no different as she didn't get up until 8:30 or a little thereafter.
In the meantime, I watched my Sunday am show, 'Sports Reporters', and then some SportsCenter. Also read the Oregonian. All of that was done before my wife got up, so I end up searching for things to do. I want to try to be quiet so she can sleep. Yet at the same time I am fuming that she is not up yet. Today's feelings are no different than any other day that she sleeps in. I let my mind start to escalate it's negative thinking about her sleeping in. She will often say she wants to do something on the weekend and not come up with ideas. She will sleep in, leaving half the day gone, by the time she wakes up. It infuriates me. Why? Why, why, why, why, why, why, why?
I got her to finally get some shoes and socks on as we went out for a walk on the Nike campus. Was a beautiful morning for a walk. Even the process of getting the shoes and socks on seems to be a big process. Seems like it takes forever. My irritation always arises during this process. Got back from the walk and trying to get her to take a quick shower is a painful process. She very well may want to relax and do things slowly. I don't. I'm wanting to do something and feel like our lives are completely out of sync.
I'm irritated enough now, that I just took half an anxiety pill, trying to relax me. I know I need to learn to be comfortable in my skin. I know I need to relax. Intellectually I know I can't control everything. But I want to do something and not just sit around!!! So I'm left to typing an entry into my journal. What other positive things can I do while I wait for her shower to be done? Take Mookie for a walk. Get laundry ready to wash. Clean up my room. Vacuum the house. All fun stuff (not really!) but I'm going to put my shoes on and take our dog for a short walk around the block. It will be good for him and for me.
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