My Dad

Well today is my Dad's birthday, if he were alive. I'm sorry to say that I don't know the year he was born. He died in 2000 in a car crash in Arizona.

My Dad married my Mom in Los Angeles in the early '50s. They ended up having four boys. I'm the third of them. One of my brothers died in 1979 in a car crash. I was 19 at the time while he was 21. I will definitely delve further into this crash and it's aftermath in another post...but back to my dad.

When I was 2 years old, my dad divorced my mom, leaving her to raise the four of us as a single mom. At the time, my dad was having an affair with another woman. But he was already letting alcoholism destroy his life and impact others in a negative way. I don't recall seeing my dad until I was 7 or 8. Then not again until I was 13/14. We really didn't recieve any financial support from him. He did come to my high school graduation, though he had missed my two older brother's graduations. He didn't make my younger brother's graduation either. Not really sure why that is. The thought that comes to mind is that my older brother's were angry with him growing up and wanted nothing to do with him. I think I was looking for some kind of approval or love from him.

After high school, I did start to develop a relationship with my Dad. By then he had quit drinking and was recovering. I wanted to learn more about me by trying to learn more about my dad. Not sure I learned an awful lot about him. My prevailing thoughts revolve around him telling me that much of his life was lived in a fog due to alcoholism. He started drinking young. Drank socially. Drank often. Didn't give it much of a thought, other than to get another drink.

He told me how it definitely affected his life, through his relationships with loved ones and at work. I never knew him to have much of a job, pretty much just living paycheck to paycheck. He ended up being married three times. His last marriage was definitely the best due to him not drinking.

Crazily enough, in his death he ended financially giving me more than he ever gave me when he was alive. He died in a car crash in Arizona. His third wife was with him and also died. They were in a Ford Explorer with Firestone tires. The tires exploded while driving down the highway, causing the car to roll over. My brothers and I ended up suing Ford and Firestone over the death. We got a good settlement from them. I still can't put my head completely around this, but I do obsess.